Hi! Welcome back to my blog! This week I'm going to talk about a more difficult and/or touchy subject than most, sex. More specifically, sexual intimacy in marriage.
I first want to discuss the differences between male and female arousal. Interestingly, sex is most pleasurable for men at around the ages of eighteen to nineteen and thirty to thirty-five for women. What an age difference right! I also want to point out that young men who serve full-time missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are eligible to leave when they turn eighteen years of age. I definitely do not think that is a coincidence. Anyways, most of the time, women need more time to become sexually aroused to prepare for sex. It's a lot faster for men to be "in the mood" than it is for women, which makes sense because sex is not the same for each gender. For men, it's external and for women, it's internal. Women also need to feel safe, warm, and close to their husbands before they engage in sex. Men, on the other hand, want to have sex with their wives to feel safe, warm, and close to them. These differences can create a list of problems and benefits for the couple.
One problem that could occur with sexual differences is a lack of understanding of each other. Particularly with couples who have only been sexually intimate with each other because they do not have much experience and/or understanding of sexual intimacy. For example, a woman might be frustrated with her husband, thinking he just wants her body because he wants to have sex with her all the time. He might feel that she doesn't love him because she doesn't want to have sex with him. When, in reality, he wants to have sex with her to feel safe and close to her. On the flip side, another problem with sexual differences in genders is that the more sexual partners you have, the harder to receive an emotional connection with someone. These are just a few examples.
Even though there are problems that result from sexual differences, there are plenty of benefits as well. It gives couples an opportunity to work together and creates an intimate bond between them. Married couples are supposed to be of one flesh and one heart as commanded by God. So, I think he gave us the ability to procreate to fulfill this commandment. Some other benefits are being able to drop boundaries with one another and reduce stress and even disease. But I think the most important of all is that it creates a space for unselfishness for the couple because they focus on each other's needs before their own. This reminds me of a scripture in the New Testament, where the apostle, Paul is answering specific questions about marriage.
1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 4 says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the wife unto the husband."
I know many people would probably disagree with this scripture, but I think it means that a husband's body and parts are not supposed to be for his own benefit, but for the benefit of his wife. Likewise, a wife's body and parts are not supposed to be for her own benefit, but for the benefit of her husband.
I think the greatest thing I learned this week about sexual intimacy in a marriage is to think of sex as a precious gift given to you by your spouse. A kind of gift this intimate should only be opened with the one who gave it to you. You want to unwrap it slowly and carefully, taking as much time as you need.
Sexual intimacy is extremely sacred and precious (in my opinion), and you should be careful who you share it with.
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