Parenting

 Hello everyone! Another week, another blog post!! This week I want to discuss some of the things I've learned about parenting.

What is the purpose of parenting? Is there more than one purpose? I think the purpose of parenting is to raise your children to prepare them for life, by teaching them how to make their own choices (and learn from the consequences), teaching correct principles, and showing your love and respect for them. Parents are responsible for protecting, providing, and preparing their kids for this world we live in, including the present day, the future, and their individual adulthood. 

Children all have needs. These basic needs are so important to these children's development. Parents are responsible for providing their children with these needs. These needs are crucial for their development and if they aren't met, kids will take mistaken approaches to satisfy the needs they don't receive from their parents. Let's show some examples, shall we?

The need for contact/belonging is HUGE for a child's development. A parent should offer and provide this contact freely. If the child doesn't receive this contact, they could try and get it by seeking extra attention. I've seen this a lot in my own family. I have twelve nieces and nephews and the same thing tends to happen when a new baby is born into their family. Almost all of my sibling's time and energy is spent tending to their new, helpless baby. Their other child gets significantly less attention than they once had, so, to get it back, they will throw tantrums, break rules, or just even scream at the top of their lungs. That last one gets the attention of everyone in the room, not just their parents. 

Another need parents should give their kids is protection. If they don't get the proper teachings of danger and assertiveness, they could try and get protection from another source, one that could potentially harm them, not help them. Children need a challenge, to help them grow and learn from hard things. The parents should help and encourage skill-building from these challenges. If not given, the child could get involved in risk-taking when challenges arise. They also need to learn how to withdraw from things without completely giving up on them. Parents should teach their children to take wise breaks from these activities. The child alone would most likely approach it by just completely avoiding the activity and/or responsibility. The last need I wanted to discuss was power. Parents could respond by offering them choices (that are age-appropriate and situation-appropriate) + the consequences of those choices and helping them develop responsibility. Sadly though, most of the time, parents will try to protect their children from harm, unfairness, and sadness by stepping in and dealing with the consequences of the child's choices themselves. This won't teach them responsibility or help them to grow when they do make mistakes.  Children's mistaken approaches to getting power could be open rebellion against others or trying to control people, either being bad options. 

The overall goal of parenting is to have children develop responsibility and to teach them assertiveness and forgiveness. These kids won't be able to do it on their own, they need (most of all) their parents. No wonder people say that parenting will be the most important job you will ever have. It's a huge responsibility, but you are not alone! There are loved ones here and loved ones who have passed on that can and will help you in this journey called parenting. I am grateful for the opportunity to raise children and have a family one day and I hope you feel the same way! Have a great weekend and stay safe!!