"Mawage is wot bwings us togeder, tooday."
You all know that time in the relationship when you start looking at engagement rings online, talk about your wedding, and basically plan out your life together. Yup, it's time for the proposal. This is a very crucial time in the relationship, because, when things get difficult later on in the marriage, the woman tends to look back on the start of their relationship. Nowadays, a proposal is more of a negotiation than a declaration of your love and commitment to someone. It's all staged and planned out to be super extravagant and romantic. I see it time and time again. A proposal doesn't have to be this crazy scheme put together with 1,000 rose petals and an orchestra. It should just be a sweet intimate moment between the couple, otherwise, it's just for show. And that's just the proposal, not even the wedding.
Ok, now that you're engaged, it's time to start planning the big day! But how are you going to get all that money? A typical wedding costs about 28,000 dollars. That's A LOT of money, especially for a young couple who is more than likely still in school. Couples could delay education, marriage, buying a house, or even having kids because of how expensive weddings are. More than likely, the parents are going to pay for the bulk of the wedding. Out of the two, who do you think is going to be planning the wedding? It's probably going to be the girl. Most girls dream and begin planning their wedding when they are around five years old. Do you know who probably is going to help them plan the wedding? Their mother, not their future spouse.
A lot of people think engagement is the time to plan a wedding. In reality, engagement includes not only planning a wedding but planning a marriage as well. Things like budgeting, talking about different roles each partner will play, and changing relationships with other people; maybe letting go of some old friends, especially those of the opposite gender. What if loved ones, friends, and/or the community helped out with the cost of the wedding, rather than expecting them to pay for it all themselves? Makes a lot more sense, doesn't it?
Now, when the wedding's over, most couples think the hardest part is over. That couldn't be further from the truth. Marriage isn't all rainbows and unicorns, it's hard work. There are many unexpected adjustments couples make in their first month of marriage. Some examples are eating habits, sleeping together, sharing bathroom space, level of cleanliness, organization, amount of laundry, communication, and roles that need to be given (jobs, household chores, reminders for prayer/scripture study, finances). It's important to communicate these things during the engagement period, not after you're already married.
There are many unexpected adjustments during the first year of marriage as well. One of the most common ones is addressing each other's needs like they did at the beginning of a marriage. Another, that can happen in the first year is a life-changing event, having a baby. In fact, satisfaction within a marriage decreases when the first child is born. This is because they spend more time focused on the baby and its needs, rather than each other. This happens when each child is born and gradually increases when each kid leaves the house.
Marriage was never meant to be easy, but it was meant to be worth it! It'll take time and effort, but the rewards and benefits will be far greater than anything you can imagine. Eternal marriage is the greatest gift God could give to us.
See you next week!! :)
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