Family Crisis

 Stress. Everyone has it at one point or another. Is it good or is it bad? In some cases, stress can be a good motivator and can push you to get outside of your comfort zone. On the other hand, too much stress can lead to other things such as anxiety and depression. What about within a family? This week I want to talk about stress within a family and what happens when a crisis occurs. 

Stress in a family can come from many different factors: a job layoff, an unexpected doctor's visit, or a big move across the country just to name a few. These things of course are not ideal, but they do happen. It's very different from a crisis though. Interestingly, the meaning of the word crisis in Chinese is danger and opportunity. A weird way to look at it right? I think it's beautiful because a crisis could be looked at as dangerous, but it can also be a learning opportunity that brings you closer as a family. You are able to bond with one another in ways you couldn't if something like this didn't happen, by forcing you to work together to fix and/or get through this hurdle.  

Imagine you just married last year and found out you were pregnant a few months ago. Everything is going according to plan. You have your baby girl, and she is happy and healthy. One night suddenly, your baby dies from SIDS. You wake up to find your baby motionless and pale in her crib. Surprisingly, this is a lot more common than you might think. Absolutely devastating for this new family. How do you think they are feeling? The mother would most likely blame herself and say it was all her fault. That if she only would've looked in the baby's room before going to bed, she could have prevented it. She would probably think she is an absolutely terrible mother and would be scared to try and have another baby. The father of course would completely be heartbroken and maybe unsure of how to comfort his wife. He may even blame himself for what happened. This could drive a wedge between the couple and their communication could completely decline. 

A few years ago, my sister and her husband went through a really hard time. He had just lost his job in Oklahoma, so they moved back to my hometown. They lived in a trailer because they moved around a lot for his job. When they came back home, they parked their trailer in the lot my parents owned right next to my house. They had just welcomed a new baby girl into their family a few weeks prior to moving back to North Idaho, making them a family of five (with three girls). With her husband unemployed and them having a brand-new baby girl, you could say that both of them underwent a lot of stress and anxiety. He finally was able to get a job, but his work was very emotionally toxic. His coworkers would make fun of him for his mental struggles and abilities. It got so bad at one point he had to be institutionalized for his health and their family moved into my house. While my sister was constantly going to doctors' appointments to figure out how to help her husband, my parents stepped in to watch their kids. Not only was this extremely difficult for their family, but it also affected our family as a whole. Thankfully, we were all able to come together to help them until eventually, he was able to get the medical help he desperately needed, and their family could get back on their feet again. 

I'm grateful for the trials and difficulties in our lives because it helps us to grow and become more like God.